Follower NOT fan

So this phrase kind of has been creeping up on me for the last two days.  Yesterday during the drive to church, me and my friend for no reason just started talking about our lives before Christ.  How we were such FANS of Christ but did't truly become FOLLOWERS till college.  Ironically that phrase is exactly what the sermon was on at Integrity.  Then again on the way back to campus from church, I saw a billboard that said "FOLLOWERS not FANS."  Even today while browsing twitter I ran across a tweet about this subject and of course had to re-tweet it.  Obviously God has been trying to drive something home for me.   As I prepare for the summer in Chicago, I have been faced with this thought.  Will I truly surrender my life, or in this case my summer, to be a FOLLOWER of Christ.  This includes so much more than just being on project and going through the motions this summer.  This summer I am called to die to self and FOLLOW Christ.  When I was a FAN, I relied on myself so much.  Don't get me wrong I am NOT perfect now.  I definitely find myself relying on my own strength more than Christ, but I have learned that I am unreliable, this world is unreliable, but He is reliable.  This has been pressing on me for a while now, but a new concept was introduced to me this Sunday.  That I am completely incapable of doing this on my own, I am unreliable.  It is God who draws me near, making me more like Himself, making me a FOLLOWER.  John 6:44, "No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him."  Wow! He draws me near.  It seriously blows my mind to know that the God of the universe loves me enough to draw me near.  In retrospect, this verse points out my brokenness.  How did I ever think that I could FOLLOW Him in Chicago without being drawn by Him?  To know that it is God who changes me and builds me is humbling to my headstrong personality.  Recently, I have learned that I am so weak and need to rely on God for everything.  I am so excited to give God the summer and see how He forms me into the FOLLOWER that He wants me to be!! Only 38 more days, can't wait.  WOOHOO.