Finding Freedom

Hey guys,
     Due to my new season coming up in Africa, I have started another blog! It will mostly be some video blogs but have some text as well. So here's that link!
http://freedomalas.blogspot.com/

On the Mountain Tops

 I am back in the South, and honestly I don't know how I feel about that quite yet.  Just a small heads up this will most definitely be a long post!  I have been back home for almost two weeks and I have not had time to rest yet.  

So, I left Chicago on the 10th at 4 in the morning, needless to say I did not get any sleep that night.  Actually the plane left at 6 but myself and Danielle made the trek out to the airport at 4 right after being in the hug line with all of project, which of course produced a huge cry fest for most if not all of project.   Once in the airport my tears had finally dried up, honestly because Danielle is a great flying partner.  We made flight to Atlanta spotlessly and were excited to have an hour layover to rest a little before getting on the next flight.  That didn't quite work out because we ended up missing our flight! Finally after hours sitting in the airport I was able to get in an open seat going back to Fayetteville, NC while Danielle got a different transfer to Myrtle Beach.  Upon returning home I was so excited to see my nephews face, Juden, greeting me! 

In reality coming home was extremely bitter sweet.  It was great to be with my biological family but leaving the spiritual family that had seen me and grown with me for the past ten weeks really rocked my world.  For the first hour in my new home, I had to ask to be left alone in my room to pray to God and really just cry.  Seriously, though I thought that hour was going to be one of the saddest God turned it around to a time of complete joy, peace and love for my Savior.  During this time all I could think of was Moses and his mountain top experience. 

Basically Exodus 34 tells this experience for Moses.  God tells Moses to go up the Mount Sinai to give him the Ten Commandments.  While Moses is up there God allows him to see some of God's glory.  This short amount of time that he was allotted in the presence of God changed Moses tremendously. To the point where his face shone with the glory of God, so much so that Moses had to wear a veil over his face.  

Of course we were not in the actual presence and body of God on project, but His Holy Spirit was definitely with us.  This summer I was able to see a community that probably functioned as closely to the early church as we can see today.  We ate together, lived together, where taught together, grew together, shared our faith together, were baptized together, worshiped together and were vulnerable, all to the glory of God in order to point each other to our Creator.  While in Chicago, I became homesick to be reunited with my Jesus and just a little bit obsessed with Heaven.  I will never refute the fact that this summer was a giant mountain top experience.  God changed me in Chicago to see His kingdom so much more clearly; He allowed me to see what a Christian community can be like, what it is like to live a life with a missions focus.  To see every opportunity to share His name with the people I know.  Moses was given this experience and I can only imagine his emotions after coming off of the mountain.  I know if it were me, I would probably be angry that God took me away from Him and put me back among a sinful nation.  I would want to just die and be with Him again.  I can only imagine him being so sad and longing to go home so badly.  BUT, God works all things out for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  Moses needed to give his people the commandments and share His experience of witnessing the glory of God to them.  From Moses' testimony others could see God for who He is. Though my mountain top is NO WHERE NEAR Moses',  I know that though that time was great and God has given me that time of growth, change and training, to better shine His glory here at my home.  

On that note, please pray that God would truly work though those who went on project to use our time away for His glory.  My biggest prayer is that lives would be changed from the visible difference that project has made in our lives.

CAPS COMING OFF

I really cannot believe that I have only lived in Chicago for eight weeks, it feels so much longer.  I absolutely hate talking about how long we have been here because inevitably the fact that we only have two weeks left comes up.  Usually when someone starts talking about leaving soon, I will immediately change the subject.  Because in all honesty, the thought of leaving project hurts me to think about!  I know I still have two weeks to post a final blog, but really I do not have the best track record for posting blogs regularly, so I'm just going get a farewell point out there and hopefully write a final one before leaving.  I can only imagine what these last two weeks are going to back like.  The first two weeks were some of the best weeks, these last two are going to be a blast I am sure.


Even though since living in Chicago I have come to the conclusion that I have absolutely no interest to live in the city limits of any major city for longer than a year, I have come to love this city. I look at the people I work with and I have begun to love them and who the city has shaped them to be.  When on the UIC campus, I love to meet new college students and engage them and tell about the One who has given me the love that I have for them.  I keep going to our church Willow Chicago, and though it is a completely different church then I am used to or even completely comfortable with, I have begun to love the people there and the mission that they have to unite all the diverse people of Chicago in the Kingdom of God.


Like I just said,  when first attending Willow Chicago I did not care for it at all.  But, with much prayer and God slowly teaching me about grace and the love that He gives towards others, I have learned that I will never be in a position where I know too much and cannot be taught by someone else.  Willow's love for their community and outreach has revealed my lack of outreach to the people around me.  I tend to pour into just the people around me, the people in my seemingly Christian community, but in reality I am called to go OUT and just share what He has done for me.

This past Sunday at church was most definitely the best sermon at Willow.  Again, I will say it was a good church service.  We watched a guest speaker who preaches at a church in Detroit.  He spoke on the fact that unrighteous people can never work up to God, but people made righteous by God, out-pour His righteousness to those around them through gratitude to the Father in the form of good works.  His story was that in his "black church", church is cultural, it is the way a family lives.  Church is incorporated into their lives.  But, his question was then why do their neighborhoods (Detroit) suffer from some of the highest crime rates.  (Detroit's police stations are all closed at night because of how dangerous the city is.)  It is crazy how his analogy ties in so well with the name of my blog.  He said that so many churches, and Christians, put a cap on our salt shaker.  We keep the goodness of God and His gospel in our churches, in our hearts and forget to show God gratitude and OUT pour His righteousness to those around us.


This has challenged me to take the lid off of my mouth and openly outpour.  I don't feel equipped to take on such a heavy role but I am part of His body and He has made me with a purpose! "Little is made much in the hands of God."

THE GREAT I AM

I realize that I have not been keeping everyone that well informed regarding my summer thus far.  So here is the shpill....

My days at work have been phenomenal!  During project we are encouraged to acquire jobs so that we can begin to learn how to share our faith with coworkers.  I work at a place called Shoreline Sightseeing, which is one of the largest touring companies in Chicago.  At Shoreline I function as a "greeter", a fancy name for costumer service.  While working at this job, I have met a lot of coworkers who are outgoing and eager to talk and have conversation while working.  God has actually allowed me to have great conversation with them and even blessed me with a couple spiritual conversations.  This experience has helped me understand what it means to live every second of every day with a kingdom focus.  I have learned that no matter where I am at or who I am with, it is possible to share God's good news and be a light in this dark world.  

Also, in Chicago we go on college campuses and initiate in spiritual conversation as a way to present the gospel to students.  God has blessed me with fruitful conversations on campus.  The experience of sharing on the UIC campus has caused me to have to rely on God a lot.  Some days on campus seem so discouraging after every person we talk to does not want to hear about our God.  Through these days we have had to join as a community and remind ourselves that God is the One who works in someones life, He has the power to save not me.  I have seen my responsibility to God in being obedient in sharing His story with the students on campus and leaving the results up to Him.  My days on campus have not gone to waste by any means!  This past week on campus Amy and myself went sharing on campus a spoke with a girl, Helen.  At the beginning of the conversation, she refused to think that Jesus is the Son of God but also God Himself.  But almost three hours later and a Christ-centered conversation later, Helen declared that Jesus is God and He is the only way to have a perfect relationship with God.  Though we did not see Helen receive Christ, I know that He is working in her heart and that we will remain in touch and continue to pour into Helen spiritually while here in Chicago! 

 God has worked in marvelous ways throughout these six weeks at Shoreline, UIC and in my own life through what I am learning about Gods character.  Ever since the staff on project have left, leaving the leadership team with the job to write and plan out our Bible study and meeting topics, we have been delving into who the great I AM is.   Too many times when approaching the Bible, I try and make it all about myself.  I usually ask myself, "What can I gain from this passage." Or even less directly, if I'm struggling with something, I'll just look in the concordance and find verses that will just apply to me.  I have learned that this is a self-centered way of thinking, instead of a Christ-centered way to approach my spiritual growth, reading my Bible and quiet time.  Often when learning new things, I only want to learn so that I can better face situations for myself.  The purpose of my salvation is to give God, the great I AM, the glory.  The purpose of having the Bible to read is to see the person who is God.  The purpose of Bible studies are to point us to I AM.  Yes, I am being repetitive, but there is a point.  Our Bible studies are doing a great job of teaching me a lesson that, when I take the focus off of myself, then I am able to see how eternal, great, powerful, loving and how much of a light to this world I AM is!   

ENCOURAGEMENT

It never ceases to amaze me the way that God chooses to teach us things.  
Generally I am an oblivious person.  So most of the time I will overlook things until one moment, then all of the seemingly smaller things that happened previously begin to make since and the dots begin to connect in a spectacular way.  When all of the stars begin to align, all the small things really just blow my mind.  Mind=BLOWN!  
Something that has really just been mind blowing and incredible to watch (or in my case look back and see) is all of the encouraging words that have been showered on me lately, that could only be the product of a God centered, Jesus loving community.  
Taking some steps back...Sunday evening a friend of mine and myself wrote encouragement notes to several people in our Summer Project group.  I am a fan of encouragement notes so we wrote Scripture and encouraging words on 3x5 cards for these people.  Tuesday, in my small group Bible study we all did popcorn encouragement to each other.  Just this was mind blowing because we all only had twenty seconds to shower each other in encouragement.  My most favorite event was on Wednesday when a guy small group took my small Bible study group on a Creative Date.  Which is where a group of guys take the girls out to show them how much they appreciate their sisters in Christ.  The guys walked us to  probably the most beautiful little park I have ever seen and cooked dinner for us and gave us letters of encouragement.  Finally today my discipler took me to breakfast at a sweet little place in the city where we could have a county breakfast (biscuits and gravy for days!) This was our final time together, but I have no idea that she would also be leaving me with words of encouragement.  And still can you believe that I had not connected the dots yet?  
So, I get back to my apartment and actually began studying "truth" found in Scripture, when I got stuck on a reference, Hebrews 10:19-39.  Actually, the main idea of this passage is assurance through faith, but nesselled in there are two verses about Christian community which is the fruit of a true and pure relationship with Christ. I did not intent to come across these verses at all.   24"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."  WOW.  And then it hit me.  Yeah, it's great to hear good things about ourselves from other people, but the purpose of it is to stir up our love for Christ.  
When I read and hear encouraging words about myself, I hear that I am loving and care for others the most.  Actually, I probably struggle with this the MOST.  Honestly, I struggle to see past the picture of myself long enough to love other people.  These words being said, this is how I see myself.  In turn love for others is what I know God has wanted me to focus on, how I love others and can encourage and point them to Christ. How I can give that Agape love to everyone outside of myself.  
When I read these encouragement notes about my loving nature, I know that it is not me that they see.  Rather it is Christ changing me, because without Him I would just be a very very selfish and self-centered person.  It is awesome to see all of the dots connect when God uses community to point me back to how He is working in my life! 

Loving this SUMMER.  God is sooo good! 

HARD LOVE

It has literally been forever since I have blogged, and this will probably not be a long post.  Project has hit me hard.  Between work, project meetings, going out to explore the city and wanting to spend time in the Word I have had little down time.  But I am not complaining! God is teaching me to use my time wisely.  Instead of going to hang out with friends after meetings, going to bed early and spending time reading my Bible has been something that has not been easy. 

Though time management has been a serious struggle this past week the Lord has revealed so much of His characters to me.  He has revealed so much about my Identity (ironically this is the project theme for the week).  My identity is rooted who God is and who the Holy Spirit is changing me to be through sanctification.  I have learned a lot about how God is a judge and though He has graciously redeemed me from all of my sin, I am still so accountable for the way that I live for Him now.  He has showed to me that as a child of the King, I am to loving be a slave to the One who first loved me.  

On that note, my roommates and I have been interested and learning about all of the forms love that are in the Bible.  There are three actually, I know! how crazy is that, all the English language has for us is L-O-V-E.  So we found these three types of love and they are eros, phileo and agapao.  Eros is the love passionate and much more like lust and desire we use this a lot when referring to relationships.  The second is the type of love most used in our society. It is the "fluffy" love.  This is how we usually want to love God, because it is based off of emotions.  It is easy to love something with Phileo.  But the best love, the love that explains the way that God loves us is, Agapao.  Agapao is NOT easy.  God is love (agapao) and He sacrificed His live for us knowing that we would refuse Him because of His agapao love.  Agapao means loving someone with no personal gain involved.  This is the way that God has called us to love Him and others (Mark 12).  

Applying this to project, I have learned that I am called to give this love to others by presenting the gospel to the people around me.  We do not share with any personal gain, but because we love God and He is glorified in our obedience.  Knowing this truth that God is love and this love means to cast my self image and reputation aside for the love of Christ, evangelism in Chicago has become much less about how I present myself to others and more about how God can be glorified.  

Yeah, so that is just a small taste of who God is molding me here in Chicago.  He is doing big things here! Can't wait to see all that He has for this body of believers.  

URGENT

I have officially lived in Chicago for not quite six days now.  Though it has only been six days I seriously feel as if I have been here for months!  Coming into project I knew that I would be able to have a strong since of community because I had so many people from my campus coming with me (ECU is the biggest group here).  But, I never expected that the WHOLE group all sixty something students would be so grounded in the same foundation and have a such a connection.  

So every year project focuses and studies a book of the Bible.  This summer we are studying 1 Peter.  Let me tell you, I am beginning to love 1 Peter!  On Tuesday nights we have an action group Bible study over the book.  This Tuesday we went over chapter 1 verses 1-12.  The urgency of the early church really stands out to me in the passage.  Though the church was scattered and different from the world they were on fire for Christ! The church lived in such a sense of urgency because of the impending return of Christ.  They took opportunity to share the good news and in their generation the entire Roman Empire was touch by the gospel.  

Learning this about the Early Church really convicted me.  Yeah, I'm on a project with a focus to share the good news,  but where is my urgency.  I seem to forget the we are not certain of when Christ may come and that people die everyday, their souls forever disconnected from thee Father.  But being in this Bible study opened my eyes that having a gospel mindset means, seeking all opportunities for Jesus.  Not thinking, "Oh well I have plenty of time to share with this or that person,"  but to think, "This is the time God has given me to give His Word to another child of His."  

So today I was able to put this new thinking to use on my designated campus, UIC (University of Illinois Chicago).  On campus we go out with the intention of getting into spiritual conversation with the students that attend.  I first went out with my discipler,  Rachel (she is great by the way!)  We were able to talk to two groups of girls about a survey but never went too deep with them.   After these two conversations my discipler and I had lunch and enjoyed great conversation, centered around Christ.  The first part of the day we share with our disciplers and then they all leave we students are left to share together.  I was paired up with my good friend Sam, and after being rejected once we decided to just sit on a bench and really get to know the fellow God follower that we were paired with.  This was a truly fantastic time because we are able to share our stories with each other and just talk about the Magnificence of God.

After talking for awhile Sam and I ventured out again on campus.  We were able to get into a great conversation with this one girl.  I initiated the conversation with a spiritual survey and was able to speak quite easily with the her, Carmen.  When I asked what type of religious background she had, her response was Catholic. While getting to speak to her about why she was dissatisfied with Catholism, she completely hit the nail on the head and told us the she just could not believe that someone could earn their salvation.  We completely agreed and Sam asked if she could share a KGP with her.  (Knowing God Personally is an outline of how God created us to be relationship with Him and how Jesus is the only way to bridge the gap that sin creates between us and out Maker).  After sharing the booklet with her she was super excited and wanted to show it to her Catholic boyfriend.  Though we did not see Carmen receive Christ,  I know that a seed was planted and that God is in control of the situation.  

Just a small picture of how God is working in the city and what He is teaching me. 

Love ya'll, 

     Amanda Driggers